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the Nonsensical encyclopedia that anyone can mess up.
We love one-liners and random nonsense.

We have 6,609 articles in English, rien en... français... und nichts auf Deutsch.
Create one here.

The Moon is currently in its 3rd quarter and is 58% full.
May 2, 2007 00:00:01 AM next full moon.

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"Thank God you're here Dunkin, the orphans are trapped in the 32 story building and there's rapists in there trying to kill them."

"Fear not civilian, for my birthday vision will see us through."

[cue Superman music]

Archive • Vote for featured articles>>>

Recently featured: None, because they cannot compare to my birthday

SCENE 1 EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET – DAY

Wide shot: street, slow zoom in, with children playing. It's a bright and sunny day. Yes, the setting of this story is actually quite pleasant.

Narrator: “"And so begins the day when children play, to fill their spouts with honey and clay. But will it end in the exact same way? Or for our heroes, be it their last day...?"

It won’t be of course, since it’s not real.

Camera stops zooming in. Kids stop playing and look at the camera.

Narrator: The writer could make the characters invincible if he wanted. Besides, the writer prefers doing happy endings… what? Oh sorry, I’ll keep quiet.

Camera starts to zoom in again. Kids continue to play.

Narrator: “The tale begins on Hallowe'en down at a conspicuous police department…

Did you know...

...that its Testostereich's birthday?
...that Testostereich is a super special birthday princess?
...that Testostereich is currently on his birthday period?
...that Testostereich is touching birthday cloth?
...that Testostereich tastes of birthday?
...that Testostereich licks the lid of life special birthday flavour?
...that Testostereich is going to wear a special party hat as it is his birthday?
...that Testostereich doesn't condone vanity whatsoever?
...that Testostereich puts the irthda in birthday?
...that Testostereich once did a cover version Elton John's birthday, which is as of now irrelevant because it is in fact his own, Testostereich's, birthday?
...that Testostereich is agrieved CSI failed to take into account that its his birthday?
...that on this day in 1003 B.C. ancient Egyptians gave sacrifices in the hope it would one day be my birthday?
...that Testostereich is having special birthday sex with your mother?

...that homo-cop is here?
...that this cheese taco owned by the Mo' Soul Conspiracy will explode in your stomach as soon as you are done reading this pointless message of pointlessness and you will be owned by the Crazy Raccoon Union and will enjoy dancing the hula with Bill Clinton who invented the lightbulb which is used for something and what is this about again?
... that this is the dopiest dope-ass dope that I've doped up in my dope?
- ... you dope?
... that because of the massive Iraq war leaks the Illogicopedia clubhouse toilets are now out of order?
... that I what what in the butt from time to time?
... that while soaps are often necessary aids in personal hygiene, they are only available for use during half hour blocks on prime time?
... that old people in love are actually suffering from some kind of mental illness?
- ... no, not racism.
... that I twatted your mum in the face?
... that there ain't no party like an S-Club party?
... that rhinocerous jello contributes to the depletion of horny animal-perverts?
... that the dinosaurs were wiped out for "tax purposes"?
... that fences can't fence?
... that we can dance if we want to?
- ... that we can leave your friends behind?
  - ... 'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine?
... that you will go to the farewell show of Men At Work in 2050?
... that Illogicopedia still got love for the streets?
- ... that Illogicopedia is also still D.R.E?
... that Uruguay Orange Monkey Tails Capital Letters Unecessarily Used?
... that you will receive a court summon in the next 6 - 8 weeks whether you like it or not?
... that things that are yellow are also yellow?
... that the privacy roof is a rumbling potato?
... that your home is most probably a plagioclimax?
... that I slipped a hobo into your drink when you weren't looking?
... that the most severe crime a fruit can commit is date grape?
... that Steve Jobs once tried to take an apple tree to court over copyright issues?
- ... that apple trees have surprisingly good lawyers?
... that tea pots guess right 53.6% of the time?
... that me so horny, me love you long time 10 dorrar?
... that at a mole funeral the dearly departed is symbolicly buried above ground?
... that swine flu also affects computers?
- ... aa, aaa, AAAAATCHOOOEW!!!!1
... that ibble bibble wibble wibble was custard monkeyed with the utmost care and attention?
... that Sex Hams are upon us?
... that fat people are equal to or greater than 17?
... that some people just take jokes too far.
- ...that by some people; Seppy means T3canolis?
... that this is never gonna give you up?
- ... that you know the rules and so do I?
  - ...commitment is what I'm thinking of?
    - ...you wouldn't get this from any other guy?
      - ... that I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling?
        ...gonna make you understand?

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Seemed like a good idea at the time

You're so awesome Testicles

DPL can kiss my expertly polished buttocks :(

I promise that each and every one of you will eat my shorts or else!!!!!!!!!!! OH YEAHH!

What would I do with 3 wishes you say? Well, flight's got to be up there. Its definately that or monkey butlers.

Wut TuW Wut TuW Wut TuW Wut TuW Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for the national anthem of Argentina.

Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles!

Tell me something to write here, now. What, you want me to write 'shut the folk up?'

Finds and exterminates George Formby

MEGAPHART BONAPARTE.

I ate the poisoned toad. Little did he know that I am immune to toads. AH HA HA HAAAAA. AH ha HA ha Ha HAAAAAA.

Monkey farts.

MAD GIBBER!!! mad gibebremad gibbermadgibber madgibberMAD gibletsmA DGib BERMAFHIN *poof*

Excuse me while I eat my sandwich....

Excuse me while I kiss this guy.

Illogicopedia. Now with free turd!

Super Mario ate my hamster.

Corrosive anti-vandal paint .. all in my eye.

Monster: OMNOMNOMNOM

Pretty lady: Help!

Jim: I'll save you!

Jim pulls the pretty lady out of monster's mouth, preventing monster from experiencing a terrible case of explosive diarrhoea. Jim is then awarded the key to monster city.

Fooper's Fun Land is a happy land where children play. The air is clean, the cows moo contentedly, and the sun is always high in the sky. Unfortunately that means the sun /is/ in the sky. However high it is in that particular plane it is still in the sky, i.e. the atmosphere, instead of being say, 149 million kilometres away, where it would best serve fertile conditions for life. As you would expect, the gravitational pull of the sun at such a close distance instantly proved too much for the little planet and the cows didn't stand a chance.

O_/                     \_O
/\_  oh shit the cops   _/\
_/ \                   / \_

"Woah, This template still gets archived? I thought society had moved on since them days."

"You'd think so wouldn't you Ted. Come on, this is something to complain to the Guardian about."

An Englishman, an Irishman and an American walk into a bar. The American is too overweight to fit through the door and collapses. Attempts to resuscitate him prove unsuccessful and later that night he passes away. The Englishman, distraught at the loss of his friend, turns his gun on 19 others and eventually himself. The Irishman is crushed to death by the crowd fleeing from the gunfire.

^^^ I lol'd--Fish alish alish 00:57, 9 Yoon 2010 (UTC)

So, whose moldy bread is this? No ones? Ok, I'll just, er, throw it away...

/gobble

Delicious

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Excuse

This month's featured writer

Born with a pint of awesome up his backside Testostereich was always destined to be famous. Known as the man who legalised badger marriages in the real world he retreated onto Illogicopedia when the pressures of having hot sexy cousins became too much. Quickly revolutionalising the site, and earning himself a ban. Some time after the last of his semen was cleared off of the main page his ban transpired, and now-armed with a radish Testostereich was free to reign terror upon the site once more. 25 features, 2 pickles and 2 IOTM's later, Testostereich realised his great rampage of vandalism had gone horribly wrong. Since then he's just existed on the site, crushed by his failure, a shell of the man he once was, (despite the fact he started out as a woman).

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From Illogicopedia

Welcome to Illogicopedia,

Did you know...

Hot Off The Press:

Seemed like a good idea at the time

Anti-feature

This month's featured writer

Add articles >>>Recently brewed

Projects

Views

Personal tools

Navigation

Community

Featured content

Article management

Languages

Search

Toolbox

Add articles >>>
Recently brewed